Ah Long's Application Form for Loan

TAI EE LONG COMPANY  UN LICENSED MONEYLENDER
In order for us to expedite your loan application,  tell us a bit more about yourself: Why are you applying for a loan? [ ] English Premier League [ ] Private hospital bills  [ ] SMS contest When was your last visit to a highlands resort? [ ] less than an hour ago  [ ] less than 24 hours ago [ ] less than a week ago Why did you come to us? [ ] Credit card reached limit  [ ] Cannot re-finance car [ ] Nothing left to pawn How do you intend to settle the loan?  [ ] Blank post-dated cheques [ ] Surrendering ATM card and password [ ] No idea yet Which part of your body do you think  requires remodeling? [ ] The face [ ] The torso  [ ] The limbs How did you settle your previous loan? [ ] Visited Michael Chong [ ] Made a police report [ ] Attempted suicide Should collateral be required, which  of the following will you pledge? [ ] Wife  [ ] Sister [ ] Mother How did you first hear about us? [ ] Calling card in letterbox [ ] Stickers on lamp posts [ ] Neighbour's sudden death Where do you normally hang out at 3am?  [ ] Mamak [ ] Casino [ ] Feng Thou discos Office Use only: Accept/Decline/Investigate Additional documents required:  Passbook/Passport/Birth Cert/Utility Bills	NO COLLATERAL OR GUARANTOR INSTANT APPROVAL  ATTRACTIVE INTEREST RATES  1 WEEK - 30% per day 1 MONTH - 50% per month 3 MONTHS & ABOVE - negotiable
	This agreement is made between Tai Ee Long Co (herein known as TELCO) and the borrower (herein known as the client) under the following terms and conditions:  The client agrees to keep the loan active for a minimum continuous period of 12 months from the date of approval. Otherwise, an additional agreed fee of RM 500 shall be charged to the client. All interests calculated on an hourly basis.  The interest for the first day/week/month will be automatically deducted when the client receives the loan. The client agrees to declare/report any sudden windfall such as casino or lottery winnings to TELCO within 3 hours.  TELCO reserves the right to display client's picture and loan details in his or her neighbourhood, children's school, place of employment/ trading. The client agrees to hold harmless TELCO for any harm inflicted upon the client and his or her family members in the event of payment delays.  TELCO reserves the right to collect all outstanding loan and interest from family members, relatives and friends upon client's sudden demise. I, ____________________________ (the client and undersigned) hereby agree to all past, present and future terms and conditions as dictated by TELCO.  Loan amount: Repayment period: Alias:   Address: MyKad/IC no: Mobile phone no: Name of children's school: Wife/Husband's workplace: _____________________________ Signature & fingerprints  Dated: Please attach current passport size photographs: Front View Side View Rear View
WARNING: LATE PAYMENT MAY RESULT IN INTERRUPTION OF AIR SUPPLY TO THE LUNGS