THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

 Commandment 1.
 Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are
 thunder and lightning.

 Commandment 2.
 If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
 attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

 Commandment 3.
 Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand !

 Commandment 4.
 Married life is very frustrating. In the first year
of marriage, the man speaks and the woman  listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his
wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is
new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night
thinking about something you say. After marriage,
he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good cook.

However, the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After
that, he is finished.

Bonus Commandment story.

A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a 
penny. The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned.

The wife was stunned for a moment but then
smiled, "Wow! This stuff really works!"